Undercover Gemenr’s #1 Fan for the Month of July is: UNDERCOVER GEMENR!
UG would like to thank UG for visiting his website at least 25 times everyday, which has earned him the most hit points for his blog. When UG read UG’s application for the Fan of the Month, he was touched by the encouraging words from UG, which included the following eloquent sentence: “You’ve touched me, man. Your website is like a revelation. Only a God could do something like this, you know? When I read your words, it’s like I know what you’re going to say even before I read the next word. It sends chills down my spine.”
UG was awarded a choice of either a happy meal or 18 RMB in loose change. He opted for the loose change and bought himself an 18 RMB happy meal.
UG was initially disqualified from the Fan of the Month competition. He failed to meet two of the criteria set in the competition guidelines:
Stipulation 4: Testimonial must not exceed the 200 word limit.
Stipulation 36 b.: Family members of UG are not permitted to apply.
And was very close to violating this stipulation:
Stipulation 274: Deranged and disturbing applications will be discarded.
When UG flipped through the 40 page testimonial listing UG’s love and support for UG, he was so moved that he decided to ignore the two stipulations and give the honourable award to UG. UG’s application made UG feel like he could’ve written it himself.
UG was also struck by the resemblance of UG to UG. Seeing the picture that UG FedExed to UG was so startling, because when UG first set eyes on the passport photo, it was as if he was looking straight into the eyes of a long lost brother, or twin brother for that matter, or as if he were looking in the mirror like he does everyday for hours on end whenever he has free time, which is most of the time. UG felt an immediate connection with UG, like he’d met a soul mate or maybe even the ONE. So it goes without saying that UG had to name UG the fan of the month.
Note: The only other application was from UG’s mother who although is very sweet and lovely, giving the award to her would be so uncool (Sorry Mom!). Plus, her application was written on a piece of paper ripped out of the yellow pages, which violates stipulation 62 f.: The Application must be written on a new piece of letterhead, preferably scented. UG’s application was scented with half a bottle of his mother’s Spark Seduction for Women by Liz Claiborne (You never used it anyway, and obviously it hasn't worked on Dad. Just look at him. Does he look sparked? Enough said.). How did UG know that UG loves only that perfume?
To apply for August’s Fan of the Month Award, please e-mail your mailing address, a picture of yourself, a brief bio (max 200 words) and a few sentences why you are Undercover Gemenr’s #1 fan. UG appreciates honesty, but would prefer to be flattered with flowering words of awe, idolization and undying love. The winner will receive in the mail a gift from Beijing personally wrapped, sealed and signed by UG’s secretary, plus a photocopied picture of UG taken in 1983. Information of the winner (not including address, email address and other personal details) will be posted on UG’s blog.
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