Undercover 哥们儿 - Reveals Himself

哥们儿 Ge-menr n. (GE, a hard G also found in the following sentence: Gary Gets Gail Gold Galoshes; MENR pronounced like the mur in Rupert MURdock; MURphy Brown and MERlin the Magician)

1. “brother” (as in a friend, pal, or buddy who is like a brother)

Undercover Gemenr lives in Beijing. He is a one man network of a secret agency that is able to infiltrate into Chinese society, sometimes like a ninja dangling imperceptibly in the dark shadows of a room, sometimes using his innate characteristics to blend into his environs (equipped also with an extraordinary ability to exchange from one identity to the next like Jim Carrey in the Mask) all for the sole purpose of recording his observations – similar to Jane Goodall and her study of chimps in the wilds of African forests.

Note: Undercover Gemenr is not a bored bachelor living in his parents’ basement in a mundane suburb 40 kms to the east of Toronto. Undercover Gemenr does not spend 12 hours a day on his desktop computer -- he wouldn’t waste so much time if his parents weren’t so cheap to have dial-up (Excuse me. Mom! Hang-up the goddam phone!). He does not watch reruns of Darkwing Duck and the Kungfu Kids. He does not munch on crumbs from leftover Doritos bags and never eats stale slices of Dominoes pizza whenever his mom is not home to cook for him. Also, his lovely mother does not constantly threaten him in public that she’ll cut off his $20 weekly allowance if he doesn’t get a haircut, brush his teeth, or get a job. Finally, Undercover Gemenr does not romanticize about his life to impress the girls, because at the moment, there are no girls to impress. Oh, for Christ's sake. Mom! The phone! I said hang up the phone. I don’t care if you have to book my dentist appointment. This is the second time that’s happened today and like the 20th time THIS week. Geezus!